


let's pray we stay young stay made of lightning

by fakeheaux



Series: nor au [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, One Direction (Band), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers Tower, Birthday Cake, Birthday Party, Crack, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm bad at writing too, M/M, Meet-Cute, Nonsense, Talk Shows, and this, fake birthdays, idk what this is, it feels like crack to me, ship 1d members with superheroes 2k18 right, sorry for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-17 11:39:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14831579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fakeheaux/pseuds/fakeheaux
Summary: Thor is a simple man. He’s got a complicated past, but he’s a simple man. His family is all kinds of messed up, and his job is a little crazy, but he doesn’t think it’s an accurate reflection of his personality. He’s a cool guy. Which is why he’s the only Avenger, new or old, other than Stark who does things like appear on talking shows.(Thor’s not quite sure yet what the difference between a talking show and a regular show is, but he’s only been on Earth for a few years now. He only just got the hang of email.)or the one where thor meets niall





	let's pray we stay young stay made of lightning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [1000_directions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/1000_directions/gifts), [alexenglish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexenglish/gifts).



> i have no excuse other than the fact that it's 'ship 1d members with superheroes 2k18.' this is dedicated to steph and alex because they got this ball rolling and i'm just hopping on! hopefully they don't mind too much. they didn't seem to before
> 
> we're also going to ignore infinity war's existence. let's pretend it never happened, and this is picking up from about a year after thor: ragnarok and infinity war did NOT happen ever but thor still got his axe because they stopped by peter dinklage's house on the way to earth so he could get it :)
> 
> title from girl almighty by one direction because obviously they wrote it about thor duh
> 
> unbeta'd and written at two in the morning so all mistakes are mine

Thor is a simple man. He’s got a complicated past, but he’s a simple man. His family is all kinds of messed up, and his job is a little crazy, but he doesn’t think it’s an accurate reflection of his personality. He’s a cool guy. Which is why he’s the only Avenger, new or old, other than Stark who does things like appear on talking shows.

(Thor’s not quite sure yet what the difference between a talking show and a regular show is, but he’s only been on Earth for a few years now. He only just got the hang of email.)

So he’s on a talking show, and he’s the first one besides Stark to do so. Because he’s a cool guy. The woman who does most of the talking, Ellen, asks him a lot of questions, but he thinks she can tell he doesn’t know much about what she’s talking about because she decides to move on.

“Alright, well, it’s been a few years since we saw you with Jane Foster, right?” she asks, and Thor feels his smile drop, but he doesn’t want people to think he’s not cool so he tries to keep his face pleasant at least. “Whatever happened to her, I mean, we all heard when she dumped you—”

“No, it was mutual,” Thor interrupts, smiling. “A mutual dumping. We both had things we needed to focus on; she’s a very busy scientist and I’m an Avenger who is also a king, so. We’re busy. And it was mutual.” He nods at the crowd.

Ellen smiles, but he’s not quite sure she believes him. “Okay, sure. Well either way, I don’t like thinking that you don’t have anyone to go home to, so I was thinking of getting you a new girlfriend.” Thor makes a face. “Or boyfriend, if that’s what you’re more into.”

Pursing his lips, Thor hums. “I don’t have a preference, really, on Asgard it never really mattered. In fact, in _space_ it never really mattered.” He adjusts himself in his seat, excited to finally have something to talk about on this talking show. “Actually, one time I met a beautiful woman from the planet Xandar. She was purple. And an amazing lover.”

“ _Okay_ , well, we’re gonna play a quick game of Who’d You Rather,” Ellen says quickly. The audience laughs, but Thor isn’t quite sure what’s so funny. He was trying to tell a story. “Basically what we’re gonna do is put two people up on the screen back there—” she points to a large screen behind the audience “—and you’re gonna tell us who’d you rather.”

“Who I’d rather what?” Thor asks, chin in hand.

Ellen shrugs. “You know, everyone asks that question but it is up to you. Some of them you’ll wanna do certain things with and other ones you’ll wanna do other things with, and if you want you can tell us what those things are.”

Thor hopes there are some bad guys in there. Then he can tell the audience that he would like to prove victorious over them in battle. He nods.

“Okay,” he says, and he and Ellen turn to the screen behind the audience, which is has just begun to show the image of a heart with the words _Who’d You Rather_ written in pink, smaller hearts floating about. So not about battle, then.

“You might not know who all these people are, but um,” Ellen says, watching the screen. “Okay, first up we have Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, you know these two already. So who would you rather?”

Squinting at the screen, Thor hums. “Well, I’ve known Captain Rogers longer, and we’ve fought in many wonderful battles together, but Barnes is also quite the impressive warrior. And he has a cool arm, look at it.” He points at the screen, but no one in the audience turns to look. “No, back there,” he says, waving his hand, and Ellen laughs.

“There’s a screen right here, Thor,” she says, pointing behind them.

Thor turns, and almost jumps when he sees another screen so close. “Oh. Well then why aren’t we looking at this one?” He turns so he can face the closer screen. “It’s much more comfortable.”

“Well, we want the audience to see your face, which is why we have the one back there, but who are you gonna pick?” Ellen explains.

“I think Barnes,” Thor says, and he’s still staring at the screen closest to him but he must not be allowed to because Ellen taps his shoulder and points to the one further away. “Well, alright then.” The screen changes, showing Barnes and a beautiful young woman. Her hair is very dark, which actually brings him back to the woman from Xandar. She really was splendid.

“This is Gina Rodriguez, she’s from a tv show,” Ellen supplies.

Shrugging, Thor says, “I think Ms. Rodriguez would be much more able to hold a conversation than Barnes. He only likes talking to the Captain.”

Barnes’s picture changes to that of a blond man, who actually reminds Thor somewhat of Fandral, rest his soul. A fine warrior. “This is Alexander Skarsgard,” Ellen says. “You know, he actually said he would play you in a movie if he had the chance. He’s a really big fan of yours, said you went to the same party once and he tried to talk to you but there were too many people in the way, do you remember that?”

Thor shakes his head. “No, I don’t. As one of the Avengers, I get many invitations to various celebrations; I can’t possibly remember all of them. He looks a bit familiar, though, I will admit that.”

“Well, he’s an actor, so you might have seen him in something,” Ellen says. “So who are you picking?”

Making a face, Thor lets a little _eh_ sound. “I think I’ll stay with Ms. Rodriguez.” The picture changes again, and he grins, delighted, when he recognizes Banner’s face. “Banner!” he says, before Ellen can say his name. The audience laughs. “He assisted me in defeating my evil sister Hela. He even tried to keep my home from being destroyed, but the only way to keep Hela from ruling Asgard was by letting Sutur destroy it, so I had to tell the Hulk not to smash. He wasn’t very happy about it but I got him to stop, eventually.”

Ellen nods, looking intrigued. “Really.” The picture changes to another woman with dark hair. “This is Tessa Thompson, she’s also an actor.”

Thor can’t help but grin. “You know, she looks startlingly like a friend of mine from Asgard, she’s a Valkyrie. She used to be part of this elite force of female warriors, but then they were all killed by my sister.” He points to Tessa Thompson. “I choose her.”

“Okay,” Ellen says, laughter in her voice. Thor grins. This game is beginning to be more fun. He frowns when Banner’s face is replaced by that of a young brunet man. “This is Niall Horan, he’s also a huge fan of yours. Said he likes your axe, and that he wouldn’t mind giving it a go.” Her eyebrows wiggle, and the crowd laughs, but Thor is actually quite impressed by this information.

“Huh,” he hums, intrigued. “He’s got good taste in weaponry for a mortal. Perhaps I’ll get him one of his own, do you think he’d like that?” The audience cheers gamely. “Alright then.” He smiles at the crowd, but when he looks back at the screen he pauses. “Wait. He’s—he’s that musician, isn’t he? He made a song about drinking!”

Ellen, confused, turns to the screen. “Oh, yeah, sure,” she says. “The, um, ‘On My Own,’ is the song you’re talking about. You’ve heard his music?”

“Yes, I have,” he says. “Stark gave me one of those, um, phones, and there’s a button on it that plays music. His comes up quite frequently, I enjoy it a lot.” The audience, inexplicably, cheers again. They like to cheer when he says nice things, he’s noticed. “He has his own music, and then he has music with other people, did you know that?”

“Yeah, I did,” Ellen says. “He used to be in a band called—”  
  
“One Direction!” Thor interrupts, grinning. “I know them. They have this one song about lightning. It’s not quite my forte, but I appreciate the thought.”

Laughing, Ellen says, “I mean, you do deal with lightning, though. Isn’t that what comes out of your hammer?”

“I guess,” Thor says, shrugging. “But I’m the god of _thunder_ , not lightning. They should make a song about thunder.”

“A different band actually did,” Ellen says. “I’ll show it to you after this, but who are you picking? This game usually goes by a lot quicker, you know.”

Thor points to Niall Horan’s picture. “Niall Horan,” he says. “I like his music.” The picture of Ms. Thompson fades away, showing Niall Horan’s by itself, with a little bell dinging in the background.  
  
“Niall is the winner, then!” Ellen says, and the audience cheers again, louder this time. So, uh, give Niall a call, tell him his favorite twin said he was the one for you, and let me know how it goes. You’re a fan of his, he’s a fan of yours, it’s a match made in Valhalla, am I right?”  
  
Laughing, Thor glances once more at the screen behind him. Niall Horan is a handsome fellow, he decides. “I’m sure Stark will be more than helpful in retrieving his email for me,” he says. “You know, I have one of those, now.”

“Do you?” Ellen asks, and Thor hums in agreement. “Well, does that mean you’ve figured out how to use a computer, then?”  
  
“Course not,” Thor says, laughing. “Banner runs it for me; every time I would like to send a correspondence I let him know and he gets it done. It’s much faster than a raven, I’ve noticed.

Ellen, for some reason, finds this hilarious, and they spend the rest of their time talking about correspondence on Asgard. It’s a strange way to entertain the audience of a talking show, but Thor doesn’t mind. At least he’s not being asked about things he doesn’t understand, like phone apples. Why Midgardians think apples make for suitable phones, he’ll never know.

-

“Tell him his favorite twin said I should give him a call,” Thor says, pacing behind Banner’s chair. He listens to the _clickety-click_ of Banner pressing all the little buttons, and adds, “Also, tell him I could have an axe made for him, if he would like.”

Banner turns on his chair, bringing his arm up on the back of it. “Uh, I don’t think we need to be giving civilians weapons of war. Especially ones made for a stronger species like you.” He squints, pulling his glasses off and hanging them from his shirt. “Why are we doing this, again? Because some talk show host told you to?”

Thor holds out a hand, confused. “She said he would be a nice match for me. I find her trustworthy, and so I am heeding her advice. Ellen said I should call Niall Horan and so I am. Well, you are, but for me.”

“Right,” Banner says, not looking convinced. He sighs when Thor stares at him and turns back to the computer, sliding his glasses back on. “What else did you want me to say?”

Resuming his pacing, Thor runs a hand over his chin. “Say...say that he’s invited to my birthday party.”

Banner turns his head, squinting at him. “Your birthday’s coming up?”

“Well, no,” Thor says. “Actually, I’m not even sure when my birthday is anymore. Asgard and Midgard have different calendars, and there’s no way to convert one into the other, so I lost track of all our holidays from back home. But everyone has a birthday, and I’ve been on Earth for a little over a year now and I haven’t had one, so why not have one now? No one will know.”

“I’ll know,” Banner says, turning more bodily. “Valkyrie will know. Loki will know. Everyone who was on the ship from Asgard will know. Heck, even Tony will probably know.”

Pouting, Thor falls onto the chair by Banner’s. “Come _on_ , Banner, everyone gets a birthday, right?” Banner nods hesitantly, still looking apprehensive. “So why don’t you just tell everyone it’s my birthday, and I will handle my brother and my people. Besides, I wouldn’t be inviting all of them. I can barely stand being in the presence of half of them, to be quite honest.”

Grimacing, Banner turns back to the computer. “Are you sure about this?” he asks, and Thor nods, waving him on. “Alriiight. When do you want to say it is?”

“How long do you usually need to plan a birthday party?” Thor asks. “On Asgard it took weeks to prepare all the food, to make sure only the people held in the highest esteem made it through the doors. Who are we inviting, anyway?”

Pulling off his glasses, Banner rubs his fingers over his brow. “Why wouldn’t you come up with the answers to these questions _before_ deciding to throw a fake birthday party?” he asks, groaning.

Thor huffs. “Well, I can’t just very well reach out to Niall Horan without arranging for some sort of meeting, now can I? Ellen said I would need to call him, which means I need to arrange the meeting, but there’s no other way I can think of.”

“You could just ask him out for something more simple, like a cup of coffee, or for dinner,” Banner says, face still in his hand, sounding disgruntled. Thor scoffs.

“Oh, could I?” he asks, mockingly. “Could I really just ask him for a coffee or dinner?” He shakes his head at Banner. “Course I can’t! I need to impress him during our first meeting, otherwise he won’t want to have a go at my axe anymore.”

Banner raises his eyes to the ceiling, whispering, “Oh my god.” He runs both his hands over his face. “I’ll invite Tony, Nat, and Maria. I’m assuming you’ll want your brother there?”

“Nah,” Thor says. “He’ll just try to embarrass me by, I don’t know, stabbing me. Or worse. In fact, invite him to something else, in another country, so that way there’s no chance of him bothering us.”

“Okay,” Banner says, closing his eyes. “Anyone else?”

Thor considers his options. Banner has already mentioned Stark, which means he can’t mention Captain Rogers because of their silly misunderstanding about Barnes, which means he can’t invite Barnes because he won’t talk to anyone and will just give everyone murder eyes from the corner of the room. He could invite Dr. Strange—no. Strange might gain Niall Horan’s attraction for himself if he shows off his wizardry. Well. Not if he’s just the entertainment. Thor will tell him to keep it simple.

“Strange,” he says. “And Valkyrie, of course, she’s been looking for any sort of drink that might be as strong as that of Sakaar. Oh, and Korg! He hasn’t been to a Midgardian party yet, I think he would like it. He needs friends, too. Who else, um.”

“Why don’t I just ask Tony for help?” Banner asks. “I’ll tell him to keep it simple, not to invite too many people. He’s the one who threw the party before Ultron, remember?” Thor does. “It was simple, there weren’t too many people. I’m sure he can do it again.”  
  
Thor shrugs. “Alright. But make sure he knows I want Niall Horan’s attention to myself. I have Ellen’s word, but I don’t want to risk him being interested in someone else.”

Banner sighs, nodding, and types something else. “I’m telling Niall it’s in three weeks. That should give Tony enough time to set up a caterer, book a DJ or some live musicians, and come up with a guest list, and it’ll give Pepper enough time to approve all of it.”

“Perfect,” Thor grins, patting Banner’s shoulder. “I appreciate your assistance, Banner. Because of you I may have just gotten closer to finding the one.” He winks. He is, of course, just trying to make Banner feel better. Ellen got him closer to finding the one, her and her talking show.

Banner doesn’t need to know that, though.

-

It’s the night of the party, and Thor is waiting anxiously as the door, greeting everyone who comes in. He smiles and shakes hands, even though he doesn’t know many of these people. Niall Horan hasn’t arrived yet, though, and the party started half an hour ago.

“Who are you waiting for, again?” Valkyrie says, appearing next to him. She’s dressed very prettily in Midgardian wear, and is holding a large glass filled with something that smells very strong. Knowing what the Midgardians consider to be alcohol, though, it won’t do much for her.  
  
“A man,” Thor says, staring through the glass in the door. “A friend introduced me to him.”

Valkyrie laughs, taking a huge gulp of her drink. She looks at her glass in disgust. “Ugh. Don’t you mean the woman from that talk show in the box?”

“It’s called a talking show, and yes,” Thor says. “I consider her a friend, we’ve known each other quite some time now.”

“Three months,” Valkyrie says, unimpressed.

Thor rolls her eyes. “She is a very trustworthy person, alright? Now, if you’re not going to help me find the man I’m looking for, then please go away.”

Sighing, Valkyrie empties her glass, placing it on the entry table. “Alright. Who are we looking for, then?”

Sending her a small smile, Thor turns back to the window. “Niall Horan. He is of average Midgardian height, has brown hair and very blue eyes, is from Ireland, and also happens to be a musician.”

“You mean the one in the kitchen?” Valkyrie asks, squinting. Thor turns to her. “Yeah, I dunno if it’s him or not, but there’s someone pretty similar to that description in the kitchen. Haven’t heard him talk, but I’ve seen the Irish drink, and he’s the only one here who could hold up to that standard.” She sighs. “Although the drink here is nowhere near strong enough, don’t know what it is they’re priding themselves on—”  
  
“He’s _already here_?” Thor snaps. “Why didn’t anyone tell me? How didn’t I notice, I’ve been standing here the whole time!”

“Hey, Thor,” Korg says, walking up to them. The people lingering in the entry hall part so he can reach them, giving him strange looks. It must be because he’s so interesting. Wait until they see Miek. “There’s a man in the kitchen asking for you. Well, I say man, but he looks a bit like a boy. Compared to you, at least, I mean, he’s not very tall or strong-looking. Maybe for an Earthen. Quite handsome, though, if you’re into that kind of thing. Really blue eyes, too.”

Holding his hands up to his mouth, Thor stares at Korg. “What is his name?”

Korg shrugs, and a pebble skitters down his chest. “Dunno, he didn’t say. Sounds kind of funny, though, says he’s from Ireland or something. One of the countries with ‘land’ in it. Hey, why do you think the Earthens did that, put ‘land’ in so many country names? Do you think they forgot they were settling _on_ land? Or maybe they tried to live on the water, so they had to make it clear. Anyway, yeah, he’s in the kitchen, said you invited him. Happy birthday, by the way, didn’t even know you had one. How old are you turning—oh, okay, and he’s walking off now. Alright.” He turns to Valkyrie. “You enjoying yourself?”

She scoffs, walking off.

Thor finds Niall Horan in the kitchen, as promised, holding a pint of lager, holding a small audience of Midgardians, including Stark. He seems to be telling a story.

“Ehm, yeah, I mean, you’re never really get used to it, do you?” he asks, grinning. “Travelling most of the year, never in one place for too long. Get to see some really beautiful places on tour.”

“Yeah, definitely,” Stark says, smiling and placing a hand on Niall Horan’s shoulder. “Granted, I’ve never toured for music, but I’ve been around.” The small crowd laughs. “Hey, Niall, what do you say you and I go and look for our lovely host? He’s been at the door, graciously welcoming all his guests, but it seems he’s forgotten his one personal invite.”

Niall Horan’s brows go up. “I was his only personal invite? Isn’t it his birthday?”

“Something like that,” Stark says, leading him away from the crowd. He catches Thor’s eye from where he’s standing in the kitchen entrance and grins. “And there he is, the man of honor himself!” He holds a hand out in his direction, and the people in the kitchen cheer politely. Thor waves, smiling. “Mr. Thunder, Niall Horan. Niall Horan, Mr. Thunder.”

“That’s not my name,” Thor says, smiling politely. Stark shrugs, still grinning. He’s got sunglasses on inside, like a moron. Just because it’s only mid afternoon and the walls are mostly made of windows doesn’t mean he needs to wear sunglasses while he’s indoors. Moron. Thor turns to Niall Horan, who is not a moron, and holds out his hand. “It’s Thor, actually, Thor Odinson.”

Niall Horan smiles, taking Thor’s hand. It’s soft, save a few callouses. Interesting. “Niall Horan, although I’m sure you knew that already.” His smile falls a bit, his eyes going wide. “Not that I expect everyone to know me, but because you invited me. Or, you had Dr. Banner invite me, but he said it was from you so I assumed it meant you knew me. You—you said you did on Ellen, I mean.”

Stark laughs, patting Niall Horan on the back. “Well, as adorable as this is, I have an entire building of people to watch over, _and_ ,” he checks his watch, “I do believe the food should be arriving soon. I’ll catch you guys later. Happy birthday, big guy,” he tries to pat Thor on the arm as he passes by, but Thor waves him off, still smiling at Niall Horan.

“Ignore him,” he says. “I’m very happy you’re here, Niall Horan. I hear you’re a fan of my axe?”

Niall Horan laughs, nodding. He hasn’t stopped shaking Thor’s hand. Who’s supposed to let go first, now?

“Yeah, I mean, I saw your hammer when you still had it and I thought it was great, but I think the axe is so much cooler,” Niall Horan says. “Wouldn’t mind giving it a swing sometime, see if it’s anything like a golf club.” He laughs, and Thor doesn’t quite understand what he means, but he laughs along. He finally stops shaking Niall Horan’s hand, too, just because it might be starting to get weird.

Clearing his throat, Thor says, “Would you like to see it?”

Expression going startled, like a surprised bilgesnipe, Niall Horan stutters out a laugh. “Seriously?”

“Of course,” Thor says, although he’s not quite sure he’s allowed to do that. What’s the worst that can happen, though? Niall Horan is a normal Midgardian, not a superpowered one like Captain America or the Winter Soldier. He is, in simplest terms, weak. “What’s the harm?”

Niall Horan grins. “Yeah, I’d love to see it.”

“Great,” Thor says, smiling. “It’s in my room, this way.”

Understanding seems to dawn on Niall Horan, although Thor isn’t quite sure what the understanding is. Maybe that seeing his axe is a great privilege and he should take advantage of it. Yes.

“Course it is,” Niall Horan says, and there’s a small smile on his face. “Lead the way.”

He leads Niall Horan through what used to be the Avengers headquarters but is now just Tony Stark’s headquarters because Stark is having a petty argument with Captain America and doesn’t want to give in, even if it means bringing the Avengers back together. Thor has been to one too many battles with just him and the Iron Patriot alone, all because they’re missing half the team and Valkyrie refuses to join unless it’s with the Revengers. Stupid.

The walk isn’t too far, so Thor doesn’t bother with small talk. He’s usually quite good at it, but being in Niall Horan’s presence has actually made him quite nervous, for some reason. The last time he remembers being this nervous is when he realized Valkyrie was a Valkyrie, and that’s because she was part of an amazing force of women warriors. Niall Horan was only part of an amazing group of singers. Nowhere near Thor’s area of expertise. What are they supposed to talk about?  
  
Thor almost stumbles into a tall fancy vase when he realizes they probably have nothing in common. Why did he trust Ellen and her talking show? He and Niall Horan are centuries apart from each other, literally from different planets, and don’t even work in the same field. Thor is an actual god, and Niall Horan sings.

“You alright?” Niall Horan asks, looking concerned. His hands are held out, as if he meant to catch Thor. Like a gentleman. Thor smiles weakly, nodding.

“Yes, of course. Um, it’s this way,” he says, pointing, and they keep walking.

Niall Horan clears his throat, staring down longingly into his glass. “So, how long are you on Earth for, this time?” he asks.

Thor purses his lips, thinking. “Probably for good. There was no other place for me to take the Asgardians that I knew we would be welcome, and I’ve saved Earth enough times that Nick Fury owes me. There’s only a couple thousand of us, it wasn’t so hard to figure out.

Brows raising, Niall Horan nods. “Right. So where did the rest of your people end up?”

“Kansas,” Thor says, grinning back at him. “You’d like it, Niall Horan, there’s lots of fields, lots of sky. Not very many cities, not like New York.”

“I’ve been to Kansas,” Niall Horan says. “And you can just call me Niall, you know. Don’t need to add Horan every time.” He laughs. “It would be like me calling you Thor Odinson every time.”

“Oh.” Thor thinks this is a step forward in their relationship. “You can just call me Thor, then.”

There’s no answer, which Thor takes as Niall appreciating his kindness. Not like there was much else to be called, really, but he likes to make himself seem nicer than he is.

They finally reach Thor’s room, far enough away from the party that the talking and the music can barely be heard, and Thor turns, blocking the closed door. “Um, it might be a bit messy. I don’t remember the last time I cleaned, to be quite honest. But I’m a god, so it’s a godly mess. So technically it’s no big deal. If it’s a mess.”

Niall laughs, shrugging like he couldn’t care less. “Fine by me.”

Smiling, Thor slowly opens the door to his room. He’s still facing Niall, mostly blocking his view of the space, but he just wants to make sure there’s no way for Niall to see any mess that might be in there. He keeps the smile plastered on as they walk in, Thor backwards and Niall staring up at him, his own grin on his face like he’s trying not to laugh. When he finally turns, Thor is pleased to see the only real mess is the different outfits he had laid out for tonight. Each one was deemed nowhere near good enough to meet ‘the one’ (as Ellen called him) for the first time. He’d finally settled on a simple black blazer, with a darker black t shirt and matching black trousers. He looks quite smart, in his opinion.

The rest of the room, thank Odin, was presentable. There were a few stray papers lying on his desk—case reports he was expected to fill out for each of the last few missions he’d gone on with Stark—but otherwise it looked clean. Neat, even. It was a bare space, though, no pictures or anything to decorate the space. The only indicator that it was his room was the axe sitting on his desk chair. Nothing like his room back in Asgard, which had spoils of war on the shelves, his armor on display, his helmet on a pedestal.

Finding himself to be growing steadily more nervous, Thor spreads out his hands “Ta da.”

Niall surveys the room, small smile still on his face. He crosses over to the desk, picking up the small obedience device Thor had nicked off Loki when they landed. Holding it up, Niall quirks his brows at Thor in a silent question.

“Obedience device,” he supplies, arm waving awkwardly. “It was used on me on Sakaar—that’s a different planet, by the way. Kept me in line, kept me from, well, disobeying.” He approaches Niall, picking up the remote. “This controlled it. If you press this button here,” he points it out, and Niall leans closer, “it electrocutes who ever this—” he points to the device “—is stuck on.”

Brows pulling together, Niall looks up at Thor. He knows Niall’s file described him as of average height, but he’s still so much shorter than Thor. “You were tortured?” Niall asks quietly. Thor shrugs.

“Nothing new, really,” he says, unbothered. “Back when Ultron was still around, the Scarlet Witch gave me horrible hallucinations. You could also argue that my brother Loki tortured me every day growing up.” Thor gives him a small smile. “Nothing can hurt me too badly short of killing me.”

A disbelieving laugh rushes out of Niall, mostly breath. “But can’t you control lightning?” he asks. “So like, technically you can control electricity, so you should have been able to control the currents coming off this thing.” He quirks the device in his hand. “Right?”

“Wrong,” Thor says, plucking it out of his hand. He places the device and its remote back on the desk. “Lightning creates thunder, which is why I have some power over it, but it’s not quite the same as electricity. I couldn’t just walk up to one of those holes in the wall and conduct lightning out of it. I should know, I’ve tried.”

Niall laughs, loud and full of joy. “You’re kidding.” Thor shakes his head, and Niall laughs louder, head thrown back. Thor takes the opportunity to admire his jawline. It’s a nice jawline, he decides. Sturdy. Firm. Got a nice bit of beard growing in, maybe one day it’ll be as nice as Thor’s own.

“So,” Thor says, after Niall has calmed down to just a few chuckles. He picks up his axe, twirling it. “The axe.”

“Right,” Niall says, schooling his face, although a small, amused grin still finds its way through.

Pleased, Thor steps back and swings the axe artfully, the way only someone who’s mastered wielding a weapon can. Niall watches on, entranced, and Thor, never one to shy away from attention, starts to talk.

“It’s called Stormbreaker,” he starts. “I helped forge it in the heart of a dying star called Nidavellir. A giant dwarf by the name of Eitri is the genius who made the mold, but he needed my assistance to keep the star open.” He doesn’t stop swinging, even going so far as to summon a few, tiny bolts of lightning to crackle along the axe’s blade. Niall’s eyes follow the movement like moths to a flame. “I almost died, you know. I took on the full power of that star, and the only reason I didn’t die is because the star itself was almost dead, anyway. That, and a tree helped make the handle. Long story,” he scrunches his nose and shakes his head when Niall’s enchanted expression falls, turning into a dubious one. “The point is, I have a stronger connection to this axe than I ever did to Mjolnir, because I assisted in its creation. Mjolnir was a gift from my father.”

“That’s amazing,” Niall breathes. “Best gift me dad ever gave me was—I dunno, me life?” He laughs, shrugging.

Thor smiles. “Well, it’s not really comparable, is it. My father created the Nine Realms, sure. That was his greatest feat. Yours didn’t do anything of the sort, and yet he still managed to create something as grand as you.”

Niall grins bashfully, looking embarrassed, and looks away from Thor. “Well, now you’re just trying to make me blush.

“Is it working?” Thor asks, winking.

“I dunno, you tell me,” Niall says, and slowly crosses over to Thor’s bed. He makes a gesture as if he’s going to sit, but then starts to chew on one of his nails. “Um, I don’t wanna just shove all your clothes to the side, or sit on them, so like. Can you move them?”

Ceasing his swinging motion, Thor says, “Oh, do you need somewhere to sit?”

The expression on Niall’s face drops, replaced with an unreadable one. “Oh. Was this not—wow. I’m an idiot, _christ_.” He runs a hand down his face. “This isn’t in any way what I thought it was, is it?”

Thor squints, brows pulling together. “What did you think this was?” he asks slowly, feeling like he’s missing something. What did he say wrong?

“ _Wow_ ,” Niall says, hand over his mouth. He starts to chew more vigorously on his nail. “I really misread the situation, didn’t I? I think I’ll just...go back to the party now. Jesus _fecking_ —”

The door swings open just as Niall is about to reach for it, startling him so much he stumbles back. Thor moves to catch him, but he rights himself on his own. Stark stands in the doorway, hand on the doorknob, looking mutinous.

“You wanna get boned, Point Break, you do it on your own time,” he says. “Not while you’re having a fake birthday party and _especially_ not when we haven’t even served the cake yet. Which, by the way, has been ready for the past twenty minutes.” He turns to Niall, much more calm. “If you would like a piece you’re more than welcome to one, but if only if we can get his ass back out there. Dwayne Johnson over there is starting to look a little too hungry for my tastes.”

Face somewhat pale, Niall nods. “Yes, sir. We’ll be right out.”

Stark nods, raises his sunglasses to narrow his eyes at Thor, and exits the room, leaving the door open.

“So, uh,” Niall says, rubbing the back of his neck. “You threw a fake birthday party?”

Thor places Stormbreaker back on the chair. “I can explain.”

“Mr. Thor, the boss has asked me to remind you about your birthday cake,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. says, her voice coming out of the hidden speakers in every room. Niall jumps, startled, and places a hand to his chest.

“Tell him we’re on our way,” Thor calls out, feeling a lot less impressive than he was three seconds ago. He waves his arm towards the door, giving Niall a small, awkward smile. “After you?”

-

The cake cutting is, to say the least, awkward. Everyone sings to Thor, which he did not realize would happen, and then he has to blow out the candles and make some sort of wish, but he can’t say it aloud otherwise the magic won’t stick and the wish won’t come true. He isn’t sure what to wish for, until he sees Niall standing at the other end of the table looking uncomfortable, so he wishes for the AllFather for a clear vision of how to approach the other man. He dove into this, as he does most things, with no plan, and he’s gone and messed it all up. Typical him.

By the time he’s blown out all one hundred candles—all spread out over a giant cake bearing a portrait of himself in battle, with Stormbreaker held over his head and flashing with lightning—he feels considerably less idiotic. His wish may have just worked, because he thinks he knows how to fix this.

After he helps to pass out the cake.

-

Once he’s made sure everyone has a piece, and that Korg has at least a fifth of the whole damn thing because he eats more than Thor himself did in his youth, Thor seeks Niall out. He searches the area of the facility open to guests, but can’t seem to find him. None of the guests he asks has seen him, and even F.R.I.D.A.Y. has trouble pinpointing where he is. Finally, she comes back to him with good news.

“It seems he’s waiting at the main gate, Mr. Thor,” she says. “He might be awaiting a vehicle.”

Thor frowns. Is he leaving already? Did he even eat cate?

He excuses himself from a small group of guests, and goes after Niall. He finds him right where F.R.I.D.A.Y. said he would be, phone in hand and head bent over it. Thor sighs. Midgardians and their technology. He takes a deep breath, preparing his small—somewhat plagiarized—speech.

“Please don’t leave,” Thor calls out. Niall’s head pops up, and his cheeks grow red when he sees it’s Thor who’s come after him. “I was just thinking of the start, when we first met today. It—it echoed a spark, in me. And I couldn’t help but remember the magic electricity that seemed to flow through the room when we spoke. So, I’ve taken a look into my heart, and I’ve found that there’s a light where there used to be dark. And—and I see there’s a flicker of hope, that you gave to me.” He swallows hard. “Please don’t leave.”

Niall doesn’t respond, his expression unreadable. He just stares at Thor for a few minutes, until finally he cracks and laughs, quietly at first but growing so strong that he throws his head back in laughter. When he calms down, he slips his phone into his pocket, wipes a tear from his eye, and says, “Did you just quote one of my songs at me?”

“Um,” Thor hedges. “Yes?”

“It’s not a question, Thor,” Niall laughs, shaking his head. “I know my own lyrics when they’re being spoken to me.” He scoffs, but there’s no malice behind it. “You know, I didn’t quite believe it when you said you liked my music. I guess this is good enough proof, eh?” He sighs, taking a step closer to Thor. “I should apologize. I completely misunderstood what you were saying when you invited me to your room, and when I realized that you didn’t mean what I thought you meant I panicked and tried to run. I’m sorry.”

Thor squints. “Apology accepted, but I’m still not quite sure what you thought I meant.”

Niall’s face turns bright red, and he bursts into staccato laughter. “I, uh. On Earth, when someone asks you to see their room at a party, they’re usually, eh. _Propositioning_ you, understand?”

“Not quite,” Thor says slowly, taking a step closer to him. “What did you think I was propositioning you for?”

“Oh god, don’t make me say it,” Niall laughs, face dropping into his hand. “God, um, I thought you were asking me to—to sleep with you, I guess.” He shakes his head, still bent over, and Thor just has to laugh. The blush spreads to the back of Niall’s neck, and Thor drops a hand to his shoulder gently, leaning down to be around his height.

“You know, I threw a fake birthday party just so I could meet you,” he says. Niall’s head comes up an inch. “I think I may have taken Ellen a bit too seriously when she said you were the one, and so I decided I would need some clever ploy to meet you. You’re not the one who misunderstood anything, Niall, I am.”

Head coming up all the way, Niall gives him a look like he can’t quite believe what’s being said. “You really did all this just to meet me?” Thor nods. He laughs, shaking his head, face still bright with the force of his blush. “I can’t believe that. An Avenger, listening to my music, trying to meet me. I’ve been trying to meet Captain America since he came out of the ice, and here you are, throwing a whole fake birthday party just so you can meet me.” He looks at Thor. “You do know that game Ellen plays is a joke, right? It’s not meant to actually find you a—a partner.”

Thor shrugs. “Banner tried to tell me, but Korg had a much more compelling argument.”

“The rock?” Thor nods. “And what was that?”

“That, even if Ellen didn’t actually mean to set us up, you coming would test whether we were compatible or not,” Thor explains. “And how we interacted throughout the celebration would further prove that you are, indeed, the one.”

Niall swallows, eyes flicking down. “So, have I proven myself, or?”

Shrugging, Thor quirks his head to the side. “Well, you came, first of all, even though I’m pretty sure you don’t know anyone else here. And you somehow slipped past me when you arrived, even though I was at the door the whole time—”  
  
“You were in the loo,” Niall says, smiling. “The house system said you’d stepped away for just a moment.”

“I told her to tell me if you arrived—I knew I couldn’t trust that thing,” Thor mumbles. “Anyway.” He grins at Niall. “You prefer my axe over my hammer. If that isn’t proof enough, then I’m not sure what is.”

Niall gives him a face, eyebrows quirking. “You do know half the world prefers your axe, right? S’not a very good indicator of whether or not I’m ‘the one.’”

“Isn’t it, though?” Thor asks, smiling funnily. “Everyone I’ve met since coming back has told me they wish I still had my hammer. Even one of Stark’s workers told me they could market the hammer much easier than the axe, whatever that means, I guess they’re selling replicas or something. You’re the only Midgardian who’s really, genuinely been impressed by the axe. I think that a pretty good reason to like you.”

“Oh, so you like me now?” Niall asks. “Not just my music?”

“I like you and your music, both when you were a part of your own group and on your own,” Thor says sincerely. “The jig about drinking is my favorite.”

“‘On My Own’?”

“If you insist,” Thor says amicably. Niall snorts.

“That’s the name of the song, mate,” he says.

Thor shrugs. “If you say so. Now, will you come back inside?”

Niall shakes his head, looking apologetic. “Sorry, mate, but it takes about an hour and a half to get out here by car, and my driver’s already almost here. I’d hate to send him all the way back just to call him later.”  
  
“Oh,” Thor says, trying not to show his disappointment. Niall catches it anyway, taking the hand off his shoulder and holding it between his own.

“How about we meet up sometime, though?” he asks. “But instead of having a fake birthday, we should do something more simple.”

Thor smiles, recalling his conversation with Banner. “How would you like coffee? Or dinner?” He waggles his eyebrows.

Niall nods, Thor’s smile reflected on his own face. “Sure,” he says, just as a sleek black car pulls up. The window rolls down, and the driver asks _Mr. Horan?_ Niall nods at him, holding up a finger. “I’m assuming you still don’t have a phone, so just have Dr. Banner email me again. Hopefully we can work something out.”

Nodding, Thor opens the car door for Niall. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll have him email you tonight.”

Niall laughs, ducking into the chair. He rolls the window down as Thor closes the door. “Remember, Thor, simple, okay? Just keep it simple, so that way we can avoid this mess next time.”

“Simple, of course, got it,” Thor agrees, giving him a thumbs up. Niall, still laughing, says bye, and rolls up the window. In the next moment, the car is gone.

Simple, he said. Thor can do simple.

Thor is a simple man.

**Author's Note:**

> if you want a better picture of thor's party outfit, look up chris hemsworth at the huntsman: winter's war premiere lmao i suck at descriptions and narrating in case you couldn't tell
> 
> also check out my nor au tag at flickrseshions for more! or follow my marvel blog wandamarriedamicrowave it's not very original but i love followers :) *idk how to hyperlink im sorry but google is not my friend*


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